Supporting a family member or friend who is experiencing abuse can be challenging, but your presence and understanding can make a world of difference. Here are some ways you can help:
Acknowledge Their Struggle: Recognize the difficulty and fear they may be facing. Let them know they are not alone and that help is available whenever they need it.
Listen Without Judgment: Be a supportive listener, refraining from criticizing their decisions or trying to guilt them. Respect their choices and offer unconditional support.
Provide Emotional Support: Encourage them to engage in activities with friends and family that bring them joy and comfort. Your support during this time is crucial for their healing process.
Assist in Safety Planning: Help them develop a safety plan, whether they choose to stay, prepare to leave, or have already left the relationship. Our advocates can provide guidance and resources for creating an effective plan. We can help in the safety planning process. It’s free, confidential, and can be completely anonymous. You can also use our safety planning tool (link: safety planning tool).
Give Them Our Number: Let them know that we’re here for them. Our services are free and confidential. We aren’t here to tell them what to do but instead to listen to their story and help them process their experiences. You can offer to sit with them while they call. 1.800.770.1650 or text IOWAHELP to 20121
Respect Their Autonomy: Understand that ultimately, they are the ones who will make decisions about their safety and well-being. Your role is to support them in their journey to safety and peace.
Supporting Your Teen Through Abuse
As parents, navigating our teenagers’ romantic relationships can be both challenging and crucial. In the world of dating, one of our primary roles is to support and guide our teens through the highs and lows they may encounter. Open communication serves as the cornerstone of this support, fostering an environment where our teens feel safe discussing their relationships without fear of judgment. Below are some ways you can support your teenager as they navigate dating. Remember that we’re a resource, so if you need help, you can call us at 1.800.770.1650 or text IOWAHELP to 20121.
Open Communication: Create an environment where your teen feels comfortable discussing their relationships. Encourage open communication without judgment.
Educate Them: Teach your teen about healthy relationships, consent, and the importance of setting boundaries. Help them understand what constitutes as abusive behavior. You can learn more about abusive behaviors here.
Empowerment: Empower your teen to trust their instincts. If they believe standing up to their partner’s abuse could lead to unsafe situations, let them know they can talk to you about it. You can also let them know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Set Boundaries: Help your teen establish healthy boundaries in their relationships. Discuss the importance of mutual respect and consent. Remind them they don’t need to do anything they aren’t comfortable with.
Be a Role Model: Demonstrate healthy relationship behaviors in your own life. Your actions and attitudes can significantly impact how your teen perceives relationships. If you are experiencing abuse in your own relationship and worry about how that’s affecting your children, we can help you, too.
What If My Teen Won’t Talk to Me?
It’s not uncommon for teens to be hesitant or reluctant to discuss their romantic relationships with their parents. It can be difficult to find ways to break down communication barriers and ensure your teen feels comfortable opening up. Sometimes, it might not be you that your teen opens up to, but if they open up to someone, that’s a good thing. Here are some strategies to help you navigate the challenge when your teen won’t talk about their relationship:
Ensure They Can Talk Judgment-Free: Let your teen know that you are there to listen without judgment. Assure them that your primary goal is to understand and support, not to criticize or dictate their choices.
Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing matters. Find an environment where your teen feels safe to share their thoughts. Avoid bringing up sensitive topics during stressful moments or in front of others. If your teen is more comfortable talking to one parent, try to create some opportunities for one-on-one time.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking yes or no questions, use open-ended questions that encourage your teen to share more about their experiences. For example, ask, “What do you like about your relationship?”
Respect Their Privacy: While it’s important to know about your teen’s relationships, respect their need for privacy. Avoid prying or invasive questions, and give them space to share at their own pace.
Use Technology Wisely: In today’s digital age, leverage technology to communicate. Send a text or use messaging apps to express your interest and availability to talk. Some teens may find it easier to share their feelings in writing.
Involve a Trusted Adult: If your teen is still reluctant to talk to you, consider involving another trusted adult in their life, such as a teacher, counselor, or family friend. Sometimes, an outside perspective can make it easier for your teen to open up.
Seek Professional Help: If communication challenges persist or if you suspect there are serious issues in your teen’s relationship, consider seeking the assistance of a professional counselor or therapist. They can provide a neutral and supportive space for your teen to express themselves. Sometimes there are Employee Assistance Programs through employers that could help with expenses, so it’s worth looking into if cost is a concern.
Remember that building trust and maintaining open communication is an ongoing process. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to create a safe space for your teen to share their thoughts and concerns about their relationships.
Our advocates are here for you, too. If you want help or guidance as you support someone who is experiencing an abusive relationship, call us any time at 1.800.770.1650 or text IOWAHELP to 20121.